memory lane

I love taking a chance, and buying random artists' cds on itunes, especially when I've got itunes gift cards to use. Yesterday I downloaded Audrey Assad's cd after reading positive reviews. One of her songs starts out with this piano piece that kept taking me back to a farm scene from a movie.. it took me a few listens to figure out where on earth I'd heard a similar sound.

Follow That Bird!

When I was a little girl, my absolute favorite movie was "Follow That Bird." A social worker decides that Big Bird needs to be among other birds, so they send him to live with the Dodo family in Oceanside, Illinois. Inevitably, Big Bird misses Sesame Street, and decides to runaway... and crazy adventures ensue.

I'd watch this movie as many times as my sisters would let me. I knew every one of the songs by heart, had the cassette tape to listen to on car rides in lieu of our "We Sing Bible Songs" tapes.. I loved it. My friends' son Noah has this movie, and when he was really little I used to convince him he wanted to watch it, so I could relive my childhood. Not surprising, I still knew all the words.

What was your favorite movie as a little kid? You know, the one you could watch again, immediately after you finished it, the one where you knew every single word, and sang along with all the songs?

Christmas in Virginia

My quick trip home was really great. I got in late Wednesday night, and spent the night at my older sister's house, got up Thursday, went to the doctor, and then went to get a hair cut as part of my Christmas present from my sister. Then I made the dreaded drive down to Stafford... it was smooth sailing until I got to 95, when it took me an hour and 40 minutes to go 17 miles! So frustrating! That night, I went over to my friends Stacy and Bryan's house, and then went with Stacy and our friend Aaron to their soccer game. It was just so good to see friends, and Stacy and Bryan's girls and spend time with them.

Friday, my younger sister came down, and then my older sister and her boo... we ate a big dinner, went to church, and opened presents together. It was a fun day with my family. Church on Christmas eve at the church I grew up in was awesome. The musicians (many of whom are dear friends) are so stinkin talented! It was the best Christmas service I've been to at Mount Ararat since I started going there when I was 14. I also wore bright purple tights with my black wrap dress, which made me quite happy.

Christmas day, my younger sister's fiance and his mom came down from Northern Virginia. I didn't feel well, so I was a zombie that day, and mostly read. That night I went over to the Griffitt's house, which has become a sort of Christmas tradition, to play games, see what Noah (and everyone else) got from Santa, and just hangout with my favorite second family. I was so tired though from the benadryl I took earlier, and I knew that 6am would come fast.

Sunday was a great day. I woke up at 6, to be at the church by 7. Some of my friends from home and I were leading worship for Mt. Ararat's 2 services that morning. Since most of the band had had to practice for Christmas Eve that week, 7am was the only time we could practice for Sunday morning. I'm used to leading worship with Becca, and the other musicians that were there are so stinkin talented, it wasn't that hard to figure out the songs. 1. Christmas music is hard to harmonize to. 2. I hate Christmas music, and so I don't know very many songs. 3. I had fun, but goodness, it was a struggle for me at some points! After church about 10 of us went out to lunch and hungout for awhile.

Sunday afternoon is headed to the airport early, to see if I could get on an earlier flight to Atlanta, so my connecting flight wouldn't be so rushed to Chattanooga. Yeah, that was a no go. Not only was that a no go, but my 650 flight was delayed about 2 hours, which meant I missed my flight out of Atlanta to Chattanooga (the last of the night). I freaked out a little bit when they told me the earliest they could guarantee to get me out of DC was like late Tuesday or Wednesday.. Uh yeah, I needed to work this week. We've got a big NYE event that has a lot left to do. Soooo Alex and Rebecca were wonderful, and drove the two hours to pick me up in Atlanta. I didn't get in their car until almost 11:30. They're amazing.

I was exhausted by the time i got home last night, but grateful for wonderful friends both at home and here in Chattanooga, and time spent with my family. It was a great Christmas trip home.

Flying home today! Super excited about seeing my family and friends. Singing with Becca at church on Sunday morning, to give the regular worship team a break, which will be fun, as always. Hope everyone has a merry Christmas! Remember that the humble birth of our Savior in a manger should point us to the hope of Christ's death and resurrection! Know that you are loved!

all i have, all i need

he's the air i would kill to breathe

holds my love in his hands

still i'm searching for something

out of breath, hoping someday

i'll breathe again...

The Peace of Christ

Today, I listened to a sermon on the hope and peace of Christ. I needed that today.

Yesterday, I was definitely struggling in the area of peace, and feelings of hope were pretty much the furthest things from my heart. I spent a lot of my teenage years, and pretty much all of my time in my twenties hoping for and chasing something stupid, and yesterday in an instant, that hope was suddenly and unexpectedly dashed. I knew it was bound to happen, but I wasn't prepared for it, yet. Had I been given more time, I'm not sure how I would have handled it any differently, but I like to pretend that if I had some forewarning, I would have been much better than I was yesterday... wanting to go home, put on my PJs, and cry in my bed. Alas, the show must go on... and I had a Christmas party for work that I had to attend.

The party, though it was a lot of fun, and a good distraction for awhile, it couldn't keep the tears from flowing as I drove the 20 minutes to my apartment later that night. As I prayed, I asked God for peace and for the strength to trust Him. It was strange praying a prayer like that, when I was overwhelmed with guilt that I was even struggling to trust the Lord in the midst of such disappointment. The thing I had put so much of my hope in, that I had focused so much of my time and energy on, has disappointed me time and time again. It has hurt me more times than I can count. It has made me feel worthless... and yet, I was mourning its loss. Lame. How black and white does something have to be? How obvious must God make something before we realize it's poison to us? For me... it's taken 10+ years, and even still, I know there's a part of me that knows that thing still holds some control over me.

It's like having this huge bag of toxins, knowing its harmful, and yet I just don't want to let go of it.

With the heart involved, it's insanity in its most deceptive cloak.

On twitter, I kept reading tweets from Pastor Perry Noble and people who attend his church, New Spring, in South Carolina, about the incredible sermon Clayton King preached on Sunday morning, and how so many people had been impacted by it. So, I checked it out today, when I was feeling less than motivated to do actual work.

I listened with headphones at my desk, and I can't lie.. there were moments where I wanted to clap, cry, cheer, or say "Amen!" throughout it. Clayton preached on the hope and peace of Christ. He talked about how we are heirs to the fullness of the inheritance of God... and part of inheritance is the gift of peace we receive through Christ.

He talked about how, when we don't have peace in our lives, we often try to manufacture peace ourselves. We seek peace in material possessions, food, sex, relationships... and when we realize that those things don't give us peace, we delve even deeper into them or find a new replacement altogether. He said, "We're trying to create lifestyles that have no crisis, when what we really need is the presence of Christ. Only Christ can bring true, lasting peace."

He used Galatians 4:1-9 to remind us that peace comes by God initiation. Peace is God's invention, his idea. He gives us peace, not in the form of a possession, but the form of a Person. Peace comes only from Him, and only when we're in right relationship with the Father. Peace doesn't take away the hurting, but it absolutely engulfs us to keep us from hopelessness. When we are enslaved to things in our lives, things like fear, we feel like a failure. Fear is crippling, but when you focus on the Father, our faith has a place to grow, and we are slaves no more.

Yesterday, I felt like a slave. Something, beyond my control, was happening. Something I knew wasn't good, something I knew shouldn't cripple me the way it had... and it's because I had forgotten my place as an heir to the rich inheritance I've been given because of Christ. There is freedom in Christ, and peace more abundant that I can ever know... and ashamedly, I've lost sight of that more times than I can count. What a good reminder it was for me today, as I struggle with something, that from the outside looking in, seems so lame. I should be able to just "let go," right? I should... but letting go of something that in some ways has become a part of me, and knowing that losing that thing isn't the end of the world, but a new beginning, will come only from a Peace that surpasses all understanding.

I'm not going to claim that one sermon has just changed everything and I'm perfectly fine now, but its reminded me of where I need to turn. "If you know Christ, it doesn't matter the circumstance surrounding you, Jesus will bring a deep abiding peace that cannot be shaken."

Praying for, and resting in that all-encompassing peace of the Savior, crying out "Abba Father!" and knowing that He is near.

The Lord has promised good to me.

His Word, my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood, His mercy rains

Unending love, amazing grace.

India

My friend MeLissa shared this video on her blog, and I wanted to post it too. I spent a few weeks in 2004 in southern India, in Kerala which is where a majority of the Christians in India live. At 21 years old, just finishing my junior year of college, on my first overseas mission trip, I had no idea the persecution that Christians face in more hostile parts of India. It's heartbreaking and sobering to think about the Christians who have been persecuted, beaten, even martyred for their faith... and what a limited scope we have as the American Church.

Pray for India, and for Christ followers there.

francis chan persecution in india from matt meeks on Vimeo.

As Promised..

Pictures from Alex and Rebecca's wedding!

Yay! Alex is married!

Olivia and me! This girl was the life of the party!

Will and me being goofy

Who knows what we were doing at this point!

An 8:00 wedding makes for a late reception!

A Drew and Will sandwich.. a dream come true.

I tried to get Jared to be "gangsta"

He's definitely more hardcore than I am!

Hanging out at the reception.

This picture makes me happy 1. because we look like grown ups

2. because Olivia is laughing hardcore

3. because Seth's shirt is bright and happy

Kaylyn + Olivia+Molly = the life of the party

Will, Kaylyn and me freezing outside, sending the bride and groom off.

And sadly about to say goodbye to Will as he headed back to South Carolina.

So good to see him though!

The whole gang!

Such a fun night!!

Mr and Mrs Alex J Ford

The last few days have been a whirlwind of crazy busy days, but also full of some really great memories. On Tuesday, my friend Kaylyn from camp rolled in to town because our friend Alex was getting married on Friday.

Tuesday night, some of my students came and helped serve dinner for a TON of senior adults for their Christmas banquet. It was fun getting to spend some time with a small group of youth, and watching Kaylyn jump in there to help out. Man, those people can drink a TON of coffee!! I was proud of the servants' hearts I saw in our students!

Then Wednesday Kaylyn and I booked it through Walmart and picked up a ton of supplies for a gingerbread house contest for that night when we had our student Christmas party... we got enough for 60 or so students. Yeah, it was awesome to find out just a few hours later that church that night had been cancelled due to the incoming inclement weather. BOO! Back to Walmart we went to return all our stuff.

That night we went to Alex's fiance's bachelorette party, despite the icy conditions of the roads. It was a lot of fun, and a special time celebrating Rebecca. Then we headed over to Seth's afterward to help him get some of his furniture set up in his new house. That was a really long day for sure! I was exhausted when I finally went to sleep, and super tired at work on Thursday! I am too old to stay up late! AND I'm pretty sure my dad would NOT have been happy about my choice to drive in freezing rain, but I was super careful, and by the time we headed to my apartment in the early hours Thursday morning, the temperature had risen, and the roads were safer at 2am than they were at 9pm!

Thursday, after working, we all went to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner at Alex and Rebecca's church. I was helping with communion in their wedding ceremony, so I needed to be there to learn where to stand and when. At their rehearsal dinner there was a time where we could get up and share a memory about Alex and Rebecca, or say something special. I hate, absolutely hate talking in front of people, but after Seth and Steve got up there and said ridiculous stuff, I needed to get up there and try and redeem our table.

Alex is absolutely one of the greatest people I know. I have never met anyone so genuine, so caring, so encouraging, hilariously funny, and loyal. He always puts others before himself. He always goes above and beyond to help others. He's never judgmental, never mean spirited. He's so many things that I wish I could be. He's one of the best friends a person could ask for. When I met him in May of 2009, I knew immediately, I liked him. I had no idea he would become such an important part of my life, but when that summer got a little rough, Alex was exactly the person I needed around. As our friendship grew, and we started getting to know each other better than just who we are at camp, he told me about his wonderful fiance back home, Rebecca. Rebecca and I became friends, but mostly at fist so that it wasn't sketchy for Alex and Molly to be such good friends... she needed to trust me if she was going to be okay with me hanging out with her boo while he was at camp all summer! As Alex told me about Rebecca though, I quickly decided I wanted very much to be her friend. I wanted to know the person that could handle Alex's hyper active, always going, crazy self. I wanted to meet the person that would compliment Alex and his personality well, and someone that he felt would bring out the best in him as he loves Christ and loves others. She is all those things and so much more. Since moving to Chattanooga, she's been one of the greatest blessings in my life. I just don't know what I'd do without her! She's hilarious, and kind, and loves Alex so much. I'm happy my friend found someone as wonderful as Rebecca. She's perfect for Alex, and I'm excited for this new chapter in their lives!

Tonight, their wedding was one of those weddings you could just sit there and know that it was "right." Everyone there was so happy, and Alex and Rebecca's love for one another was completely evident to all of us in attendance. I feel so honored to have been asked to take part in their ceremony, and to get to "do life" with these two! It was a wonderful celebration, and I'll never forget the look on Alex's face when he saw Rebecca for the first time... oh man, it was a beautiful moment.

It was also great to be with my friends. The guys in the band played a few songs before the reception really got kickin and they were AWESOME. Brad Paisley, Bon Jovi, Journey... it was priceless! They sounded great! Our friend Will from camp also came in town, and so it was a mini camp reunion.

It was a great night and I am blessed with some wonderful friends indeed. It's almost 5am though, so I should probably get some sleep.

I'll post more pictures soon.

The latest... for Jenni.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of traveling to Nashville with the Seth Medley Band to lead worship and Bible study for the students at Grace Baptist. The theme for the weekend was "Set Apart," and I was most certainly challenged by the speaker for the weekend, Luke Johnson, and by the discussions I had with my group of high school girls. Weekends like that are always so exhausting, especially leading both worship and Bible study. There's this sense of urgency there, knowing that I'll only be there with those girls for a couple days... but God is so good, and in just a short amount of time, I was able to have some really great conversations. The open and honest dialogue we experienced, not only spoke to the girls (at least I hope it did), but God spoke to me, through them, and He's continuing to speak to me even now that I'm back in Chattanooga. It was a good few days.

We also had our volunteer Christmas party with about 35 of our faithful sunday school teachers, small group leaders, and faithful servants of the random things we need help with in our student ministry. Such wonderful hearts they each have, and it was great to spend time with them. Last night we did a special Wednesday night thing... we set up the stage in the middle of the room, put the chairs up in a circle around the stage, and had a "Christmas in the Round" type deal. There were 3 of us leading worship, each facing a different direction. We sang Christmas tunes and talked about Christmas, and the Messiah. It was a good reminder to me that Christmas anticipates Easter... that Christmas should always point us to the cross.

Now, today, I've been kind of a bum. Last weekend, when we drove my car up to Nashville, one of the guys in the band may have sneezed in close proximity to me one too many times.. so Monday, I was feeling pretty miserable. Long days and late nights definitely weren't helping, and so when I woke up this morning and didn't feel like moving because of the weight of the flu/cold/sinus monster sitting on my face, I decided that this was what sick days are for.

I'm excited though... My friend Kaylyn is coming in town early next week, for Alex and Rebecca's wedding. It's going to be a great week, for sure!

That's all I've got. I'm going back to bed. :)